The grass is always greener...

Things have not been going according to plan lately. It seems that I am running outta steam, getting confused over trivial things, and have many moral dilemmas about other things as well. It always makes things look greener on the other side. I know... The grass isn't always greener on the other side, but it just seems that way quite often. Physically I feel better since taking up Goju Ryu, but some of the buddhist roots bother me, even though little or none of the buddhist religion is even brought up. If anything, it's helping me become more devoted in my Bible studies due to increased focus. Work has not been easy either. I keep making bone headed mistakes. Correctable as they may be, they are still mistakes. I finally bought a car for my wife at auction, and when it gets back to the dealership the stupid thing has a huge dent in the side of it. I'm just getting sick of all the conflicts. Most people that know me, know that at one point I was headed to Saint Louis for a job in design. Long story short, I decided to stay in town and keep the family business going. I work like hell, do what I can, and always seem to come up short. Oh well. I found this little short on the Layers website, a must if you dig any part of the Adobe suite. It is a musical of the life of a digital grunt. Or "creative professional." This could have been my life. It doesn't seem that bad really. Of course this was my last two semesters at school, in a four minute clip, but this could have been every ingle day of my life. Anyway, I'm just sitting here venting. Enjoy the clip.

Self-centering

As I slowly try to bring my life back to a balance, I have been researching the possibility of disciplines that may help bring things in line, in my life. My life has been somewhat globular in form. Work flows into my home, home into work, stress into the family room, and so and so fourth. One of the disciplines I was looking into was Shorei Kan Goju Ryu Karate do. Hide and I went to a class to watch and found it interesting. Like me, Hide has a few too many things on his plate as well. Sooo,  I went t a free class tonight and practiced to see what I thought. First lesson: I am way out of shape. Second lesson: This ain't no McDojo.  The Sensei is direct, informative, and very rigid (in a good way). I think this will bring alignment in my life that will hopefully bleed over into the rest of my ways. It sounds a bit daft, but I need more discipline even in my walk with God. Although I do everything with God in mind, I kind of just go with the flow. I need more confidence, focus, and borders in my life. I think I just may have found the ticket.