Updates 8.17.08

Well, where do I start. For those of you that knew him, Turbo, our beloved cat left us about a year ago. Torque, our new orange tabby, has some pretty big shoes to fill. But I think he'll do alright. R3 is even having fun with him. We also became guardians of a neat little RV we have been given custody of. Basically, If I maintain it, we get to use it as we wish. We spent a wonderful weekend in it a week ago. Stormed nearly the entire time we were at McMurtry, but it was great. The best camping typically happens in in-climate weather. That's my expirience, anyway. Let's see... Oh yeah, in case you haven't heard, my transformation to full-fledge Otaku is nearing completion. I finished hacking my XBox into a sweet little hub for my home theater that lets me tune into internet radio stations, watch internet video, and watch/listen to media stored on my Mac. I may be a few years behind, but it still was a feat. I also achieved 7th Kyu at my Dojo. I'm still a white belt, but I'm working on that. Speaking of which, if you take the Stillwater NewsPress, my instructor had an article in the new "Business Unusual." That's about it. Just giving a quick update is all.

In a minute...

"In a minute..." That's a phrase I'm used to hearing now. Sara's busy making dinner, or selling some stuff on eBay. I'll use it because I'm working on one of my blogs, doing some model photography, mowing, or working on some models. I never gave it much thought. But, like everything else, R3 has put a new spin on it. Lately, when we request his presence at the dinner table, want to show him something cool, or we need to discipline him, we hear "In a minute!" I'm rather self critical by nature, so I started thinking about it. I'm not upset that he uses this term to buy some time to finish up what he's working on. In fact, I really don't mind that he uses the phrase at all. What does bother me, is how many times did he have to hear us saying that to him for him to add it to his vocabulary? How many times did he want to share an idea? How many times did he just want to enjoy our company while he played? And our response was "In a minute.."

From one thing to another...

Sara went to the doctor a few weeks ago. They were afraid that she may have early stages of skin cancer. After a few late nights, some fervent prayer, and a second opinion, it was decided that everything was fine, but they wanted to remove it anyway. The doctor said he wanted to be safe rather than sorry. That's fine.

Fast forward to today. We get a call from the "female doctor." They tell her on the phone that she may have a cancer in her "girl parts." Of course, there's not alot of different ways to interpret this. So we scramble around trying to make an appointment, get a sitter for R3, and pray some more. Sara, of course is pretty upset. Her second "Hello. You've got cancer!" phone call in a month's time. After she had done some research (Google), she felt a little better. I guess it's not that uncommon for this type of thing to happen. It doesn't mean she has cancer, it just means she needs to be checked a little more often. I guess the people that call make it sound worse so that you come in faster, I guess.

I just pray that the Lord let me know why. Not so much that I question his plan, I would just like to know what we are to do with this circumstance. Are we to use this as a witness? Are we to use this as a cautionary tale? Is this to deter us from some future plans? I just pray that we understand the Lord's plan for us. I pray that his will be done. I pray for Sara's comfort. I learned along time ago, not to question God's motives. But asking for direction and revelation is the best way to get through times like this. We'll know a bit more after she goes to the doctor tomorrow. I ask you to pray for her/our understanding and that all is well.

Thanks.

My cousin needs your prayers.

I have a serious request right now. My cousin seriously needs some prayer right now. He was found by his girlfriend unconscious floating on his jet ski. He was blue by the time she found him. He has water in his lungs, as well as internal bleeding. The last I heard he is not breathing. I know he is saved, but he is too young to leave this earth, yet. Please pray for him and his family. They really need your support right now.

Thanks.

We go to the Doctor Monday.

My wife had some spots looked at on her skin a while back. Well, long story short, the test results came back suspect. So we go back Monday to see what this means, what to do next, and where to go from here. Please pray that everything turns out OK.

Thank you.

Rant: Dis-connect

It's amazing how when people get use to a certain life style, they sometimes forget what it was like before. Sara and I have made certain choices that limit our income dramatically. Firstly, I will say that we are blessed beyond measure. We have been able to maintain a wonderfully full lifestyle. But, we made the conscience decision to allow Sara to stay home to take care of R3. Sara is a wonderful mother, and we did not want R3 (and possibly another) to go to a school were we essentially let "someone else" raise our child. We made a promise to the Lord that we would raise him to love him and his laws. R3 has a great gig going. He watches Bob the Builder, Thomas the Tank Engine, Cars, and etc. He has play time. We have a whole mess of Thomas the Tank Engine tracks, cars, stations, etc. In other words, he has everything a little boy would want. I make an effort to put him to bed every night, and read him a Bible story. We run a strict house hold, but also one of love, forgiveness, and fun. In other words, we have put our efforts into building a good life for R3, instead of trying to amass earthly wealth. He is comfortable. He is not ignored. Most importantly, he is loved. I'm not saying this can't be done if my wife had a job, but it would not be as consistent. Financially, we shouldn't have all that we do. God, like I said earlier, has blessed us beyond measure. Our ship runs like a well oiled machine. We just don't have the money to blow on "luxury items." Items like computers, cars, boats, and trips. Sometimes, I feel like people just don't understand our situation. I will, by no means, say we are poor. We just don't have much extra cash. What we spend, we spend on things that can be seen as an investment of sorts. People that know me, know that I always have a project I'm working on. For instance, we just finished our home theater. I love getting up in the attic and doing the manual labor. Running wires, measuring, cutting, and so forth. In fact, the way I did our last house was quite unique. So unique in fact, it help sell the house for more than it should have. In other words, we spend money in a way that it will eventually come back somehow. Some day, I hope to take our family on big vacations. I promised Sara to take her to Greece or Europe someday. I also promised my Asian family I would be back to visit them as well. With any luck, R3 could go, and I can show him the wonders of Japan. We just don't have the ability to do that stuff right now, however. And you know what? I don't care. I'm investing in R3's future. When R3 grows up, he will be well adjusted, he'll look back on a family that loved him no matter what, and he will have a history of no regrets. I may shelter him some, but I want him to experience everything the world has to offer. Getting back on topic. There are many things that Sara and I don't have the "luxury" of doing/owning/enjoying. And it bugs me when people expect me to have that ability. Sometimes it seems that people are sometimes even put-off or completely lost by our "inability" to do these things. I have made my choice of lifestyle, and instead of having that fleeting excitement of doing/owninig/enjoying something, I have the comfort of knowing that R3 will have the best childhood I could give.

This is our inspiration: Titus 2: 11-14

For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. 12It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope—the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good.

This verse has hung over his bed since we dedicated him to God.

Easter 2007

Happy Easter everyone. Easter service was very good. It was, of course, about the resurrection of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. This Easter was also special because R3 really did have a clue as to what was going on. He opened his Easter basket at home, and after a lunch at my parents, he opened another. After which, we had an Easter egg hunt. We were also able to share Easter with my sister's husband and in laws, his aunt and uncle, and our good friend Hide. Everyone had a great time. Of course everybody left stuffed and went home to find a cozy spot to nod off and take a nap.

Happy Easter!

Some Easter pics at flickr.

Fickleness

I won't go into great detail, but it's funny how you can be a part of something, even be completely absorbed by it, and at the same time feel as if you are on the outside looking in. I kinda felt like I found where I belong, but that reality has slipped away yet again. At least if feels like it. Maybe I'm just tired and cranky. Maybe I'm just right.

A sign of the times

Our town is growning rapidly, very rapidly. I have already complained about all the construction. Now, due to more development, they are taking down the second billboard I ever designed. This is coming into town, on the eastbound side of the road. Our lease is up soon, but the land owner will not renew the contract with Lamar Outdoor anyway. I thought I'd get a quick pic before they tore it down. Sorry for the shoddy quality. I'll get a better pic later. I hope I can before they start taking it apart.

Home Theater Geek

I had been writing about my home theater odyssey for a while now. I actually finished sometime before Christmas, but I still need to install a wall mounted outlet in the wall behind the TV. I'll do that later this summer, probably. The last thing that may take a while, is to find a new cabinet for the audio equipment. In total I ran a couple hundred feet of cable through the walls to get everything done. 3 coax (480p HD feed), 1 video, 1 digital coax back to the receiver, 1 cable feed, and 4 12 gauge audio drops. I won't run HDMI for some time, that is until I can afford both the player and cable. Right now a 50 cable cost about $150. Oh, yeah. They need to settle the format war, too. It all works pretty well. I picked up a IR/RF remote from my sister (my hookup at Sears), so I can leave the audio cabinet closed (away from a two year olds hands). I took the lazy way out and just ran an RCA lead under base board to the sub woofer. All in all, it sounds pretty good. I also pick up HD, due to the fact that my TV has an HD tuner (BONUS!), so I ran the audio feed back to the receiver. That sounds great, and affords me 720i/720p/1080i. I'll call it a success, but I'll always be tweaking it.

Oh, and by the way, the fireplace columns open on both sides to reveal a super geeky DVD colection!

The hole in the ground

Tuesday was a busy day. I put down insecticide, followed with the pre-emergent/fertilizer. I am trying to get a head start on the yard this year. Followed by a heavy watering. We usually have our yard sprayed, but decided that I would try to do it myself this year. Considering I haven't really been out and checked all the way around the house the past few months, I did a complete survey, just checking around, gathering up dead leaves, sticks, and branches. As I rounded the north corner of the house I stopped.

As many of you know, we lost a precious member of our family this Christmas. In a freak accident Turbo was taken from us early. But the good die young, right? Anyway, I had never buried anything before, much less a pet. I thought I had left enough dirt to make up for the air that would eventually go away and let the ground on top settle. Instead, there was a foot-and-a-half by two-foot square of sunken earth. It was kinda depressing. I subscribe to the out of sight out of mind kinda thinking. However, that doesn't change the fact that he is gone. That hole in the ground is sorta representative of the hole in our hearts left by Turbo's absence. It's healing, but it will still be there. It just needs time.

My little teacher

R3 Sandbox.jpg
Originally uploaded by rsnumber2.

I figured as I grew older, that I would better understand my faith. You know, maturity, life experiences, and such. I regularly go to church, I try to keep up a bible study on my own. I read challenging books that test my mental capacity. I really do try to learn from all the materials and people around me.

But the real teacher is the one that is about waist high to me. R3. It's funny how that little heartbeat is completely dependent upon every decision that I make has taught me so much. I have never grown so fast in my understanding of the kind of love and forgiveness that our God grants us, that is until he came into our lives.

Many times, I have wondered why God would remain silent. Why would he not give me this or that. The truth is, I didn't need it. Sure I complained and moaned, but to no avail. God knew that wasn't the best thing for me. Out of ignorance and greed, I didn't see that it would have been detrimental at a later stage in life. Until after the fact. I know I'm not omnipotent, but I can see consequences of R3's action before he can. God sees my consequences, before hand, too. But on a much larger scale. R3 doesn't realize that when I make him go to bed, it's because I want him to feel refreshed in the morning. That why he can play hard. I know what it's like to have a terrible night's sleep. He doesn't. God knows why I shouldn't buy that new camera, or shiny new Mac. In our case, I think it's so that we can try to have another child. That will be revealed later.

My point is, that through a fatherly role, I have learned much about God's role as my heavenly father. A view point that I may have never seen, without two shiny light blue eyes that light up my day. Even if they are only waist high.

Seperation of Fact and Fiction

The other day I finally made the jump and separated my hobbyist tendencies from my home blog. I started another blog to write about my modeling interests. I'm going to keep this blog primarily focused on family, friends, and other goings on. This way I can still blog, but be perceived as a much older person... ; )

Hindsight - John Reuben

John Reuben is a hard artist to categorize. But he has a unique ability to say what needs to be said. Take a second and read the lyrics to Hindsight. It is a song that has haunted me for quite some time. It really sums up what I've been feeling lately and how I hope to feel someday. As a Christian, living in this world is not easy, but we pray to see just what the reason was for the trials and tribulations we had to go through. In someway, the always make you a better person, open a closed door, close an open door, or provide an opportunity for somebody that needs it. I've got faith that things will get better. This is just a good summation of what I've been feeling lately.

Hindsight - John Reuben

I screamed to God out of frustration
After another day of waking and hating the fact
That I’m still where I’m at
What’s the point of all of this
Cuz I’m not seeming to find it
Is it meaningless? I search the reason behind it
Because these moments seem to drag on forever
And these years on end seem to have never been this
Desperation has formed repetition within
Too insecure to pretend and I’m too weak to defend
Here it comes again all in my world again
Left with no direction no beginning no end
The days blend together and the weather never changes
Numb to the outcome but yet not quite painless
Aimless to whether or not I made a mistake
And if so how far is too far before it’s too late
Should I wait but then what would be too long
To reverse the effects if I was wrong

(chorus)
Hindsight is a beautiful thing
When you can look back and see what patience and time can bring

Is it a must that I’m here is it a must that I stay
In order to look forward must I look away
We're moving towards a new day
Unsure of what tomorrow will bring our way
I’m not even quite sure of what this day holds
I say we travel the unknown and watch it unfold
Hold today close while still reaching for tomorrow
Through the test of time I’ve seen joy overcome sorrow
So with every trial I endure
With hopes to mature into what I was created for
More than life itself I want life itself
Press past the present until forever is felt
And take hold of the hidden mystery
Wide eyed and open I now see differently
If it’s to be then give me the strength to be content
And find peace in knowing one day it will all make sense

(chorus)

Learning to accept the unexpected
Because the unknown wasn’t here for me to correct it
So I let it go and stopped trying to control the impossible
Simply put tossed in the shuffle
At a young age just like everyone else
So I don’t feel sorry for you or for myself
Love is bigger than that and I’m not below or above
The way it moves even though the things it does
To my train of thought can bring about doubt and uncertainty
Patience tends to not agree with my psyche
That’s more than likely just some pride in me
Fighting expectations of where I think my life should be
Selfishly I forget so quickly
Let me never forget Lord break me in humility
Some sort of amazing grace on me
As I look back upon my life and where You’ve taken me

(chorus)

Hear the call peace fall
From trial to triumph I want your hand in it all
Allow me to know where to stand in it all
Life Giver

Busy, bored, and beat.

Just so you know, I haven't stopped blogging. It's just been a wierd week or so. I'm trying to get myself motivated to do something. But I'm not sure what. It's too cold to work outside. I'm too tired to work on anything very complicated. I dunno. I am trying to get myself back on finishing my MG Gouf Custom. You may not know what that is, or care. But it's sitting there just staring at me begging me to sand, ink, decal, and clear coat it. Maybe when it get warmer. But by that time I'll be cutting grass... Oh, well. Maybe I'll just put that off, too. I'll try to write about something more important later.

When I get around to it.

It's all relative

I just received a deeply disturbing phone call today. I've been having some bad times. Now, most of my problems seem pretty stupid in comparison. One of my best friends called and told me that his grandpa is in the hospital and has just a few days left on this earth. I can't imagine being in that position again. It will happen again someday, I know. But, I love his family to pieces and I hate this for them. Please take a second to send some prayers up his way. Please, pray for his comfort, the comfort for his family, that he and his brother have a safe passage back home, and that he may know the peace of Christ.

Groovera

I've been at wits end for the better part of the week (or year) and the other day I went back to an old favorite. It's changed formats a few times and names as well. It's all electronic, so it may not be everyone's cup 'o tea. The music carries me through the day pretty well. It's punchy enough to keep me moving, toned down enough to not distract me, and catchy enough to remember a few tracks. When you get there there are three flovors, Jet City Lounge, Ambient Popsicle, and Low Mercury. If you have ever been to a more modern club or art house, this is the kind of stuff to expect. If your at the office, or just trying to get your blood pressure back down to earth, you ought to give it a try. Good stuff.

Groovera.com

And so it begins

Finally got our car bought yesterday. This has been the most drawn out tiring thing I have done in a long time. For those of you that don't know, we had an accident just before Christmas. We lost our cat Turbo, in a freak accident involving Sara's car, a '99 Grand Prix. It was really hard on both of us, as Turbo was very much a part of the family. After the car was cleaned the car up and repaired a few nit-picky things. We then put our car on consignment and waited.

And waited.

And waited.

We finally sold it about three or four weeks ago. In the process of selling it we traded for a little Honda. It was a good car, but didn't get us any closer to our ultimate goal of getting Sara her new car. We polished it up, put it out on the lot, and waited.

And waited.

And waited.

I finally got it sold and the CV joints went out as I was showing it. So I replaced those and did several hundred dollars worth of work to it to get it right. I thought there for a short time, I might actually be able to eek out a profit to put towards our new car. Nope. Every penny I would have made on the car went towards different repairs needed. The car was basically in great shape. I just didn't want a customer to be upset if something broke. I'm picky like that.

There is more (a lot more) to it, but long story made short. I finally picked up Sara's new car. A black '04 Grand Prix. I had the windows tinted Thursday night, had exhaust tips put on it today, and have wheels coming for it next week. Overall, I think the car will look pretty good. When we started the paperwork on it, it looked like a rental car. Now it is already starting to look like something I won't mind making my payments on for the next couple of years. Besides, when it come time to turn it, the better it looks, the quicker I should be able to sell it. It worked with my last one. And he is one very happy owner.

This my inspiration. We'll see how close I actually get.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr...

I've had about a month of bad days, all in row. What is that exactly? Is it a bad month? Or is it just a bunch of bad days? Either way it sucks. I won't elaborate, but I'm sick of being on edge, and I need a flipping vacation.

False sense of security

We moved into the new neighborhood not long ago. The house is really nice, but not near as nice as the people that live in our little cul-de-sac. We are quite secluded from the rest of the neighborhood, let alone the rest of Stillwater. Hardly any traffic. Our last house was like having a track side seat at a NASCAR event. Plus, if anyone ever drove through, we generally knew who it was. Well, yesterday my wife goes out to check the mail and finds some rather personal information on the ground. Ours. We had shredded a pile of old paperwork, but somehow these "items" were not shredded. Why? I don't know. Most upsetting is the unfamiliar footprints around our mailbox. We have called the credit bureau and alerted our banks etc. Whoever did this will probably not end up impacting our life much. But it will make me tighten down the hatches a little more. I'm just glad that they weren't after something I couldn't replace. My family.